My Road Goes Ever On and On | FibroJedi QoL Update

I remember years ago when I tried to stream gaming (anyone still remember?) that it took newish viewers ages to figure out that the “Fibro” in “FibroJedi” stood for something. That was fine, by the way. I mean, I don’t exactly ramble on about it, except maybe in social media posts.

I have occasionally tried to explain the condition using gaming terminology.

But the problems with my Fibromyalgia symptoms are:

1. The older I get, the worse they are.
2. Pain is usually the least of my frustrations with FMS. Brain Fog and Depression are far worse at times.
3. When I get another illness, even something boring like a common cold, my pain worsens.

It took me ages to find a LOTRO shot for this section, when two FFXIV ones would have done. Why? Because of an irrational fear of putting people off if they’re only interested in LOTRO. It’s an example of over-pushing myself.

Some of you know the full, real me. But for the majority of site visitors, quite rightly, I just have a gaming reference site. I designed and coded it to be such, so that you could find what you needed as quickly as I could provide it. Assuming I had it. And if I didn’t, I organised a list of posts to try and cover that.

The problem was I kept doing too much. Not to get more ad revenue, but because I thought it was expected of me. Because that’s what I was known for, and I didn’t want to disappoint. Because newer – and better – content creators have emerged, who don’t say they have chronic illnesses, are more outgoing, use more exclamation marks and can drum up excitement as easily as sand is during a dust storm in a desert.

I’m on anti-depressants and mood stabilisers. So “Excitement, heh, a FibroJedi craves not this thing.”

I just kept doing too much. Over. And over. And over.

Drawing

(Thumbnail: My FFXIV Miqo'te)

(Thumbnail) Random cat-lady or maybe Miqo'te in Chibi style.

I’ve been working on my drawing, both traditional and digital. But mostly I’ve been learning digital drawing with Krita, alongside a couple of learning manuals on different styles.

I have only included thumbnails above, because AI companies don’t care whose artwork they steal so people can make their own art from someone else’s work.

Writing

One of my headers from my serial fiction: The Cleansing of Zykyrn Pilkarrz, called Dearest Ziporaz.

While I didn’t do new blog posts, I have been writing fiction for the NovelEmber 2024 challenge on WorldAnvil. But I set my own target and didn’t try to do a quasi-NaNoWriMo 50k.

Most of it is for my serial fantasy fiction story: The Cleansing of Zykyrn Pilkarrz.

Cafeland

Snapshot of my Place in Cafeland

Getting up each day with this bug has been a ridiculous challenge. I’ve played the mobile game Cafeland for a long time, at least, much longer than any other mobile game has kept my attention. It’s simple, fun, and helps me to wake up.

It has some mild teamwork and competition aspects too, and great for so-called Dopamining^ref for those of us with short attention spans.

MMO-ing

My Miqo'te crafting in Tuliyollal.

Taken during the War of Three Peaks.

And, of course, I’ve still been playing LOTRO and FFXIV. Even SWTOR got a bit of attention, because not blogging gave me space to do that. But it has been lovely to play LOTRO and just progress the Epic on my main character. To ignore the crafting events, even though my guides “need” updating.

I‘m not supposed to be working with deadlines and stresses, because those things cause Fibro pain spikes. Yet each week I tried to create a new blog post. Had I managed it, that would have been over 50 posts in a year, and that’s not including off-shoots, like FFXIV hunt enemies, or separate database listings for LOTRO Mounts. It’s crazy, because “FibroJedi” isn’t an organisation, or a team, or an outsourcer. It’s just me.

And no, I don’t use AI models to write my articles. If something’s written, it’s using my words, my approach – my work, not someone else’s.

But since doing more drawing, writing and just living in an MMO, rather than working in one, I realised this: I had been working for my blog, but it hadn’t been working for me, in terms of quality of life. I am a game that needs a QoL update.

I Need Some Space

I’ve missed having time to draw, to write fiction, to dream think of maybe being published properly at some point. And to play the game I want for their own sake.

What I Intend To Keep

Blogging won’t be the majority of my time. I need and want to do other things in life. But when I am working on this site, it’s with these things in mind.

1. LOTRO Events (New and Existing):
   I will continue to keep my LOTRO Events Schedule and Guides as up-to-date as possible. And, when new events come out, I will add those as I am able around my health, not pushing through it.
2. LOTRO Expansions: where feasible, I will try to make my “unboxing” posts for each new expansion. Being able to do so depends on various factors though.
3. FFXIV Seasonal Events (New and Existing): As with LOTRO, I will keep making/updating the FFXIV Events Guides too.
4. LOTRO Figments Vendors (Updates)
   The Rotating Figments of Splendour only need updating occasionally. Each one does not take too long to do and, as is fairly relaxing too.

Ironically, it means that I’m reducing what I’m doing just before LOTRO’s Yule Festival and FFXIV’s Starlight Celebration! I intend to still do these updates by day 1 as usual.

Things I May Do

The aim is to write when I want to, not stop altogether. So these are things I will try to do occasionally, but not stress myself out with an ASAP FOMO thing.

• FFXIV Hunt Targets:
  Expand my enemy database for hunt targets, which has proven more useful to others than I thought.
• LOTRO Plugins Page: I have a page looking at various LOTRO Plugins. Usually if people are looking for plugins, then they’re looking for actual addons. I don’t make addons, nor do I host them.
• SWTOR Event Guides: I’ve already done an initial update of the SWTOR Life Day Event guide, but I’ll need to check everything and retake screenshots this year. But I’d like to keep others up-to-date, too. It’d be a good excuse to visit.

What I Am Dropping

I had written a full list. But if it’s not above, then it’s generally not going to happen going forward. This includes what I’m calling FOMO for Content Creators also known as “Exciting New Thing I Could Examine” (ENTICE™). Anything that all the gaming sites are writing about right then. I don’t need that stress.

• LOTRO Beta Events
  I won’t start my guides while an event is in Bullroarer. The Hard Tack Event was a wake-up call on how to lose time through re-writing.
• LOTRO Databases
  Most of my event guides include not only the rewards but click-through database entries. These take extra work, but the data says the individual pages are so rarely used, there’s not point in doing that.
• LOTRO Deeds: While people do use my guides, LOTRO Wiki does them better, more concisely and loading more quickly. I have often said “I’m not the Wiki”. Going forward, I will only add deeds relating to new events.
• Random Ideas, Tools etc Sometimes finding a new LOTRO blog topic is difficult. So, I’ve tried to take ideas and create interactivity, or approach things differently. And they mostly don’t get seen – a post is worth doing only if people see it and use it, even if it doesn’t earn anything.
• FOMO for Content Creators: also known as “Exciting New Thing I Could Examine” (ENTICE). Anything that all the gaming sites are writing about right then. I don’t need that stress.

But it cannot go back to where I first begun. When I started out blogging about games, in 2016 I was about to stop doing a business due to Fibromyalgia. NJ would be born later that year. My Fibro crashed completely after her birth. Why? Because I stopped pushing myself to take a month for paternity leave.

I am going to stop pushing myself now to avoid a worse crash, because my base pain level is much higher than back then. I will continue to update certain pieces and occasionally add new ones – when I feel like it and will enjoy it.

It took me 2½ hours to explain myself and I’ve reduced the word count. I hate perfectionism, because I know it’s unattainable. Yet I still take forever making something in case it’s bad, or could be misunderstood, or offend someone. It’s why I need time to draw, to work on my fictional world, to roam freer in MMO worlds too.

Thank you for those who have been with me on my journey so far, and those who continue to be. Until the path reaches a natural end, my road goes ever on and on. Hopefully I can finally reduce the pain of each step.

Find/Support

If you feel like following me around on Social Media, my primary feeds are:

• Mastodon/Fediverse: @[email protected]
• BlueSky: @fibrojedi.me.uk
• BlueSky (Writer Profile): @[email protected]

If you’d like to support me and my family in other ways, feel free to join either:

• Patreon